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Nice!

I can actually write entries on the LJ app while offline now - that's convenient! (tho something tells me that this likely has been the case for a while - but it wasn't like this before!)

At work right now, mountains of paperwork and other admin stuff to be completed. There's a holiday party scheduled for later today - I can't wait to have some turkey!


I hit 66666 km on my odometer last week! :)

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Japan

Mt. Fuji at sunset

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Flight

At the gate, ready to roll!

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Air Canada

Three people to check in baggage for a flight of 300+ people. Occasionally it will drop down to two because people are taking a break. Seriously? (yes, I was there 2+ hours early)

I'm not saying people shouldn't get a break but shouldn't the scheduler have people coming in when someone gets a break? Isn't this just crappy management and scheduling?

I know they don't really care but there are still other parts people need to go through like security and heading to the actual boarding gate. Those things take time as well and you can only rush so much. Traveling is often stressful enough as it is, why add to it?

And they wonder why people hate taking this airline and want to stay as far away from it as possible if given the option.

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What?

Sometimes, I really wonder about the future of the world.

I read about things like this and just.. wow. Honestly people? Let's re-celebrate how wonderful the cultural revolution was, and how much greatness was created out of it!

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND?

Because yes, all that happened is everyone held hands, sang kumbaya, and the world was lovely.

Can I know what you're smoking? Because I'd like some.

Seriously people. Really? Are we just conveniently forgetting it was one of the most f-ed up periods in history? That millions of people died for ideology? That progress was stopped for stupidity? That ridiculous stupidity like "oh, grass is bourgeosie, we need to dig it up, it must not be grown!" was encouraged? That people were tortured, beaten for having gone to school? That going to school meant you were tainted, and that you needed to be pushed down and understand suffering? That we needed to start the Great Leap Forward, and people starved?

Geebus people. Come on.

Then again, I also recognize that a market exists because of demand. Which begs the question - who are the people that are demanding this? People that want to relive the glory days? Young people who don't know any better? People that don't know any better? People who think that if they go, it might help them come to terms with things? I don't know.

But honestly, if you start to desensitize crap like this, I have to imagine it will spill over to reality at some point - once you start accepting that the bad stuff wasn't really that bad, and it was all glory days.. what's to stop it from restarting again?

BTW, there needs to be a mood called facepalm. Because that's what I feel right now.

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Thoughts

Work is driving me crazy. I think a lot of it has to do with me not taking much time off over the summer, and it's starting to catch up to me. I'm noticing more and more that I'm in the phase of "I really don't see what the hell I'm even doing anymore".

Don't get me wrong though, it's not like I don't do my job. I go everyday, I do all my visits, I follow up with everyone, yadda yadda. But there are some aspects that are so damn frustrating, I've just hit the place where I'm doing what I need to, and that's it. I could work more overtime and get more done.. or I could go home and eat dinner at a normal hour, and try to give myself some downtime. Going home and trying to rest my brain is winning out these days.

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ramble about the systemCollapse )

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Telemarketers

Double posting in one day! OMG!

Anyways.

I don't usually answer the phone for numbers I don't recognize. I did today because a friend had indicated they used me as a reference for something, and I wasn't sure if the phone call was related to that.

I answer today, and it's a telemarketer from the place where I bought my PC, trying to sell me an extended warranty. Great.

The way I look at this is - if I answer the phone, and I'm listening, you better damn well know what you're selling to me because 1) my attention span is short, and 2) I'm giving you some of my time, instead of just hanging up. This better be interesting.

So of course, I get someone who says "uh" every other word.

"So, uh, the, uh, upgrade would, um, uh, do, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, well, uh, your hard drive speed, would, uh, uh, uh, be, uh, increased, uh, to, uh, 700x, um, it's speed, uh, so, it's, uh, would be, uh, like, um, a new, uh, computer".

You know. I'm pretty sure you have a script. Don't you just read it? (Especially since I said nothing during the whole thing, so I wasn't interrupting you, wasn't being annoying, wasn't being catty. I was silent and listening.. and I normally just wait for their spiel to be done before I politely say "no thanks")

Also, if you're trying to sell me something.. shouldn't you give off the vibe that you're a professional, with a company of professionals, who will make my computer so shiny that it will blind me, and why wouldn't I want to buy another warranty? If I feel like the person doing the selling doesn't seem to have much confidence in what they're selling.. then I wouldn't want to buy from them. I get that this is likely a low paying job, and they likely don't really know what the hell actually is going on.. but dude. Image! Perception!

I also like how they ask you questions when they already know the answer. I suppose it's used to build trust, or encourage a conversation. But it's slightly aggravating when you ask me a question - "so, have you had any problems with your computer?", then when I tell you that I've had problems with it, you first go "Really...uh..?" then "oh, right. Yes, someone was called out". Like come on. Couldn't you just have started with - "I see that someone was called out for your computer, how has it been working since?". Also, when you keep using "right, right" even when I say nothing, it makes me wonder what the point is in talking to you because evidently you're not actually listening. So why should I listen to you?

So I declined, and they asked me why. It seemed harsh to say - because you don't seem to know what you're even selling to me - so I told them I didn't want to spend the money. I like how companies want you to justify your decision so they can pick it apart to change your mind, which I understand is a tactic. But yeah. No means no, people!

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Thoughts re: Social Services

This is a slight rant. Skip the cut if you want non-ranty items. :)

Social Service RantCollapse )

In other non-rantish related news.. not much. Chugging along at work. I think I should take some summer vacation - I have a couple days booked off but that's it. Work's really starting to become really draining lately, and I'm just tired most of the time. I think it might have to do with the fact that I've been working on 23 cases in the past 2 weeks (normal # is 17).

It's incredily hot here though (and often humid). I don't think we've had rain in 2 weeks.. and it's supposed to continue for another week or so, at least. I feel bad for my grass, it's turning really yellow. :(

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Mid-life crisis!

I feel like I'm going through a bit of a mid-life crisis. Well. I guess I'm not quite at the middle of my life (hopefully!), but yeah.

Lately, I find that I'm really struggling with work and everything that comes along with it. I can't deny that my job is stressful during "quiet" times, but the emotional rollercoaster it puts me through sometimes is just.. I don't know. It's like they either don't see or don't care how causing people's emotions to torrent between extreme highs and lows can make doing actual "work" difficult. By they I mean administration, management, etc.

This inevitably leads me down the path of: why am I in this field again?

I don't even know sometimes. It was something to do. It was something that seemed to make sense based on how I was at 17. Now I'm 27 and it's hard remembering why the hell I ever thought this was a good idea aside from thinking "well, at least the classes won't be too hard". Honestly, now that I'm looking back at it, I have to say that the seriousness of the decision never dawned on me at the time. I'm not quite sure if that's the best way to put it.. but just the gravity of the situation. At 17, I just saw this as a stage I needed to get done so I could just get on with my life, get a job, get a house, etc. Long term planning? What's that? Also, not sure about other people, but I'm definitely not the same person I was at 17. It baffles me to read stuff I wrote then because seriously, what the hell was I thinking?! (.. though, that just made me realize that this journal is 10(!!!) years old as of this October. Like what? This also means I have people on my friends list that I've known for around that length of time as well. Wow.)

Based on talks I've had with people in this field, this stream of self-questioning seems to be a common situation among workers within their 2nd year of working in child welfare. They start questioning why they ever thought this was a good idea, why they ever went into this field, etc. So I don't know if I've just hit that mark, or if I'm just so damn irritated at this job that it's making me feel that way. To add to that, I've never pictured myself even working in child welfare. This is something I've always joked about as a back-up plan, but never something I set out to do. Everyone I work with has either taken courses specifically in this field, or have set out aiming for it. Me? I landed here because I needed a job, and they took me. Why? I honestly have no clue.

I sometimes wonder if I should go back to school and do something else. The problem is, I have no idea what "something else" even encompasses. It's not like I've discovered a previously unfound passion for accounting that I've never noticed before and now feel the need to enter that field. I don't know what it is I even want to do. I have to admit that my first thought about a new career was "god, I hope I never have to talk to people again".. which, I mean, seems to be totally tied into how I feel about my files at this moment in time. Maybe if I'm not in child welfare I'll decide that people seem okay again.

Honestly, all I want to do sometimes is read historical situations and see how the ripple effect goes across an area. People themselves are very fascinating. I want to learn their stories, the effects, but I don't want to counsel them, I don't want to tell them life will be better, how to do it, etc. I just want to know, say "awesome, neat, cool!" and walk away.

Re-reading that statement, it seems like I'd rather spend more time on social research and looking at things instead of talking to people. I suppose that is pretty accurate. However, after having spent time doing that, it really wasn't that great of an experience. The constant political battle with the other "professionals" was enough to make sure nothing ever got done. I recognize nothing is perfect, but god damn office politics just make me want to repeteadly bash my head against a cubicle wall. Maybe I should give it another try? I don't know. :/

I know everything is perspective, which is heavily influenced by however I'm feeling that day. So today I'm having a bad day and everything is just damn awful. I usually pick myself off the floor the next day and force the brain to stop thinking. But when you're in it, it's really hard to stay focused on how to look at it differently. I suppose that's depression in a nutshell, somewhat. The people I usually talk to at work are on vacation. I feel like I'm just drifting along right now.

I know this too shall pass, but to what? I have no idea.

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Long Heck Update

So. As you may have surmised, I am still alive and well.

Thank you kc724 who wrote a comment, which prompted the hubs to say - hey, someone commented on your journal! (because, you know, I never really read my email, so I didn't see the notification, yadda yadda). This then prompted me to actually look at my journal, and marvel at how pissed off I was at my MIL like 8 months ago. :D

So, what's been happening. Let's see.

In all honesty, not too much. I'm still working in child welfare, still working way too much, but I did go on vacation for 3.5 weeks in March/April to Asia. It was quite nice, and I got to catch up with my friends and relatives who I hadn't seen in a while. The weather was fantastic compared to Canada - a balmy mid 20s in Hong Kong, compared to snow in Toronto. I ate a lot of food and walked a lot. I bought some stuff. The hubs bought so much stuff we had to find another suitcase to cart it all back to Canada. Good times. :D

Most of what's been going on lately has been work drama - which, I guess.. is always the case with me. Woohoo? I will put it under a cut so it's not like BAM!!! in your face.

Work DramaCollapse )

Aside from work drama, I'm just really tired of still being in a contract position. I'd like a permanant position at some point in my life you know. :/ - I think I really need to give myself a deadline to adhere to, and if I don't get the job by then I need to go elsewhere. We'll see.

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