Countdown's started to buy the wedding dress - especially given that they can take anywhere from 3-6 months to come in.. which doesn't include the extra time needed after you get the dress to make alterations.

Went to a few different shops this weekend with my MoH, it went okay I guess. I didn't have as great of an experience as last time.

The first place we went to was a more discount bridal place - all dresses were priced at $299. The dress selection was varied - the slimmer you were, the more options you have. But I guess that rings true for most places. Didn't really find anything that I found particularly interesting, they were all quite poofy and princess oriented. Not my thing. But at least they let us in early because it was really friggin cold on Sunday.

Next place we went to was more of a salon atmosphere, huge selection of dresses and you sign-in to get a personal consultant to help you. Problem: all the dressing rooms were in a row, there were a big row of chairs in front of the dressing rooms and 5 pedestals. You put on the dress, then get on the pedestal in front of everyone. So you're essentially trying on dresses for the whole store - not just your friends/parents/whoever you decided to bring along. If the dress didn't fit well or whatever, guess what - EVERYONE WAS WATCHING YOU, NOT JUST YOURSELF.

That might work for some people.. but I don't really like that. I mean, I'm fine with my figure when it's just myself, my MoH and my consultant, but I don't really feel the need to have my flaws being stared at by EVERYONE in the damn store. Especially if the dress doesn't fit particularly well. Hellllllllo. And you know they're all watching, even if they're pretending not to.

The consultant wasn't.. really that great. She did help me choose a dress she thought would look nice (it did look kind of nice) but otherwise, not helpful. Couldn't even be really bothered to straighten out the layers of the gown. Really just meh about the whole thing. Or maybe it was just the one I got. The other ones seemed to way more helpful with the brides, adjusting straps, demonstrating bustles and whatever. Mine? Nothing. She asked me what my background was, then told me she felt sorry for me because I'd be changing dresses a lot at the wedding (uh, maybe, undecided?). After that, it was just .. nothing. Like she didn't think I'd buy anything. That being said, I probably won't buy anything because I didn't really like the dresses I tried on that much but still. Rather meh experience.

Last store we went to was a bit like the first one - focused on selling cheaper dresses because they were mostly samples or discontinued. You could tell too, a lot of the dresses were pretty grungy - totally needed to be cleaned. Or they were ripped. Enh.

Overall, the trip was a bit of a bust, didn't really see anything that I would consider. Going to try again in 2 weeks - a few more places, then will hopefully make a final decision. So far, it seems like the general wisdom about wedding gowns - you end up loving the 1st one you try on - is ringing true. I keep going back to the 1st one, my MoH and I are judging every gown against that one. So we'll see. I can't find a picture of it online anywhere though. O.o

Also found out that one of Loren's neighbours is a tailor and actually designs wedding gowns. He starts at $450 not including fabric. I'm kind of curious how much he would charge to make a gown. Slightly. I'd feel like a jerk if he came out to $2000 and I'd be like - .. out of my budget. .. want to alter my gown instead?

Decisions, decisions. Am starting to feel wedding stress finally. OMG PANIC.

Still can't believe I'm putting a good portion of my bi-monthly salary on a dress. Good grief.

Finally finally got started on looking at wedding dresses on the weekend. It was quite interesting - mainly because I really had no idea what to expect.

I went with just one of my bridesmaids - my friend from undergrad, Jenn. Her co-workers had suggested this particular "dress salon" because they had good experiences with it, so I booked an appointment. Because it's a "dress salon", you get your own room, and a personal bridal consultant. She asks you what you like, what you don't like, if you have any preferences, then brings you dresses that she thinks will work on your body type and what not.

I actually got a really great consultant, who was exceedingly patient with my lack of opinion about everything. You know me and weddings. My answer to most of her dress questions were - um, I don't know?

I mean, I've looked at some designer websites and whatever, but I've never actually thought about what I liked or what I think would look good on me. I'm not really sure how to pinpoint what areas I want to focus on and what areas I want to hide - especially if I'm not even too sure which areas those are. If you ask me, everything's a flaw. -.-

Anyhow. I found the whole thing surprisingly informative. She told me I had a really high waist compared to normal people and a long torso, so it would be best if I focused on that. Who knew? (I didn't.. well, I knew about the long torso part but not having a high waist) We tried on quite a few dresses actually - I'd say about 8 or so? They varied in style, so it was a really great opportunity to narrow down what actually worked versus what I thought would work. For instance, before I started I would have assumed a-line dresses are my best bet. However, when I actually started trying the dresses on, the a-line skirts were more "poofy" than I anticipated. I actually liked the slimmed/fitted look a lot more. Who knew that would work with my hips? The consultant also got me to try on this dress that I would never have touched if left to my own devices. It was very detailed, lots of lacing and whatever. Um. Hello. I'm totally not into fancy details. But it actually looked really good. O.o On the other hand, we also tried something much more simple, just a ruched bodice w/ a-line skirt, which.. I would have assumed I'd like since it's so simple - I ended up not liking that as much. It was almost too plain for me.

It was also good to see how my skin tone looked against fabrics. I don't do white white very well, it seems. Off-white works a bit better, but ivory is best. Again, wouldn't have known this if I didn't get to see what it looked like against my skin tone in natural lighting.

The only downside to the whole thing was that I had to be essentially half-naked the entire time in front of my bridesmaid. I had a crinoline (basically, a slip for your lower body) for my bottom half, then it was just a bra. The consultant pulled gowns over your head, and you stood on a little pedestal thing, looked at yourself in the mirror, then they pulled it back off. I think someone next to me actually had what seemed to be a whole army with them.. like 6-7 people? Dude. I totally don't want to be half naked in front of 6-7 people, no matter how great friends we are.

Overall though, the experience was really great. I now know I don't need to shy away from fancy bodices because it draws the eye there, and trumpet silhouettes work best. I'm planning to visit a few more salons in a couple weeks so that I can hopefully get my dress all decided - shipping it will take like.. what, 4-6 months. O.o Need to get started. At least I'm looking right? This inspires me to look at more dress sites because I can determine what it is I'm actually looking for.

Also tried looking for bridesmaid dresses - not many options in everyday stores because of the colour that I'll likely go with (think pale green, like the inside of a cucumber). I'll probably have to get it from an actual bridal brand instead. Hopefully can get them to try on some dresses in a couple weeks so that we can see what works best. It shouldn't be too bad, petite Asian girls should look okay in about everything, right? :P

--

Sidenote: So much work to get done for my job. So little time. Weep. :(

I also need to find some kind of wedding-ish icon for these posts. I'll get to that eventually.

A day to be rememebered in my social work life.

I met with a family today, and was told that I wasn't being "firm enough" with them, which is why the parent insisted they weren't following through with their commitments.

In other words, because I wasn't mean, harsh and a jackass, because I treated them with common courtesy and expected that since we were all adults, I can talk to them in a calm tone of voice, it was okay for them to not be good parents.

Because talking calmly and telling them consequences means I'm not serious.

Oh. Okay.

And to think about 1.5 months ago I was told that I was the devil and was being so so so mean.

I just can't win, can I?

P.S. - a friend just told me I don't even know how to be mean. :( Epic fail.

We drive by the site of our house every couple weeks to see how it is - brief update in pictures.

( House Pictures )

They've delayed the closing date till June.. here's to hoping it doesn't get delayed past September!

Hope everyone had a great New Year's! :D

Yes, I'm checking in 6 days into the New Year. I'm just great like that.

Man, my 365 last year was epic fail. Will have to try harder this year.. even though the year's already started and I really haven't done much. I will aim to do a recap by the end of the week since I didn't even do one last year. Bad Lok, bad.

Work is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad this week. I wish I could pinpoint why. I feel like I haven't slept in eons, because I'm really tired all the time this week. I suppose it could also be a sign of Aunt Flo coming along, but hey. Uber tired isn't helpful when I have so much work piled up from the holidays. :/ - yay to more overtime!!!!! YAYYY!! -.-

The thought that the wedding is in.. oh.. 10 9* months is scaring the crap out of me. I think I have my wedding party all planned out, so one of my bridesmaids is kicking my behind into gear. She's making me pick a wedding dress, look at stuff, etc. I joke that she's such a taskmaster, but in reality I really need someone to make me do things.. especially when it's wedding related. Otherwise, I just.. can't find any self-motivation. I'm not sure what I expect to happen, maybe the dress will magically appear the day of or something.

So yes, year-end recap.. and expect much wedding sobbing/ego-stroking/frustration/etc in the coming year. I'm sure you're as excited as I am. :DDD

I think my sarcasm meter is off today, I'm way more cynical than usual. :/

*You know you're a bad bride when you can't even remember how much time is left before your wedding, so you look at your wedding counter. Oi.

Hope everyone had a good Christmas! :) - I spent the day with Loren's family.. ate a lot of food and didn't get nearly as drunk as I wanted. Oh well. There's always next year. ;)

Had the day off today because Dec. 26th is 'Boxing Day' in Canada, which is a National Holiday. Since the 26th was on a Saturday, we get the following Monday off instead. A 4-day weekend is so nice.. I really don't want to go to work tomorrow. :/

I'm really whining about nothing because it's an uber short week - 2.5 days pretty much, since today is making up for the 26th.. Friday is New Year's, so we're off again.. then Thursday is a half-day because it's New Year's Eve. At this moment though, 2.5 days feels like an eternity.. but I'm sure it'll fly by once I'm back at work trying to catch up and do everything. Can't wait to see who called and left me panicked messages about the world hating them on Christmas. Yay. :|

I don'ttttttt wanna work.

I hope nothing blows up this week. I really really hope nothing blew up the 4 days I was out of the office. AGHKASDGJ. Anxiety!

On a complete side-note, I went to the spa today with a friend and it was pretty interesting (I've never been before). We got a hot stone massage, then a chocolate-honey wrap. The massage was pretty awesome - it wasn't completely what I expected, but not in a bad way. I didn't realize that they actually massage you with a hot stone.. instead of just placing it on your back or something. I have to wonder how the massage therapist manages to hold such a hot stone and massages you with it. O.o

The body wrap was a bit.. different. There's just something very odd about being completely naked on a table, having someone rub chocolate on your skin, wrap you up in a plastic bag, then a towel, then a sleeping-bag like heating pad, then more towels. Then they turn the lights out, and you're lying there in the dark, "relaxing". It's a bit bizarro. Then you have to wash off the caked on chocolate after.. which is odd too.

Not quite sure if I'd try the wrap again.. though I am somewhat curious about doing a seaweed wrap. Would definitely do a hot stone massage again though, it was awesome. :)

Today was the first day in a significantly long period of time that someone has made me so mad, I was shaking. This isn't to say people don't piss me off on a normal basis, but I don't really remember the last time I was so mad, I thought my blood vessels were going to explode.

Anyhow. Today was supposed to be a pretty boring day - going to see a family, finish the day by doing up my case reports whatever.

I get a call from the bank that manages my Visa card and they tell me to call back. Okay, no problem. Call them, and the guy tells me that I'm over my limit. Okay, that's fine. I didn't know, but it's not like I can't pay for it - bad management on my part.

I clarify with him exactly when a "new" pay period begins - I over-drafted because I had assumed that since my payments are usually due on Dec 15th, a new period should start on the 16th. That's what I've always thought. He gives me a long-winded discussion about interest periods and that's why statements aren't printed till the 24th.. something something about how they make interest rates. In other words, he didn't really answer my question. Then he starts analyzing my credit statement, tells me about purchases I've made (why?), and makes a couple mistakes. I tell him so. He tells me I'm right, and keeps talking. So I said - nevermind, it's not that important - at this point, I don't want to continue the conversation because there's no point mentioning how I think it's stupid that it works that way and really, I don't like conversations that don't answer anything.

So then, he says to me - Okay, what's the problem? I'm answering your question and now you're like nevermind?

Like what. Are you trying to start an argument with me? So I said - Excuse me?

Then he asks me when I'm going to pay back the money. I said I thought I had 30 days to pay it back - it's what he said at the beginning of the conversation.

Him: No, we need it back right away.
Me: Okay. Well I don't know when I can do that. I can put the payment in today but I don't know when it'll go through since I use internet banking.
Him: So you're saying you're not paying it back.
Me: .. I never said that. I said I wasn't sure when it would go through because I use internet banking. For instance, last month I paid the bill on December 4th, it didn't go through till December 8th. I don't know how many business days it'll take.
Him: So you're paying it back on January 8th.
Me (exasperated): No. I never said that. I just told you, in my last payment it didn't go through till 4 days later. If I pay it back today.. then it might take 4 days.
Him: Ma'am, we need a date.
Me: .. I'm trying to tell you I don't know the date because I'm using internet banking.
Him: So you're not paying it back.

At this point, I'm just really really angry. He's not listening to me, he keeps changing what I'm saying in addition to acting like I'm never ever going to pay this money back because I'm just some kind of asshole. I'm starting to shake, and I can see my hand shaking while I'm holding the phone. I can hear my voice shaking as well, in addition to becoming sharper because I'm starting to get mad. I'm not yelling, my voice is just not half-awake.

Me: I never said that. I am trying to tell you the date, I don't understand why this has to be so difficult.
Him: Ma'am, you need to calm down and stop yelling at me. You're being offensive.

This was just the friggin cherry on top.

Me: Excuse me? I am NOT yelling at you. I admit, I am getting very angry and agitated. But I am not yelling at you. And -I'm- offensive? Tell me, how am I being offensive? Seriously. Tell me specifically how I'm being offensive toward you because I haven't even said anything.
Him: Well, we're not even talking about the same thing right now, you're talking about this and I'm talking about that.
Me: What are you talking about?
Him: We need a date.
Me: Fine. December 22nd. I guess. I don't know how long it'll take to go through.
Him: Ma'am. You're not answering the question.
Me: What?
Him: We're not talking about the same thing.
Me: Okay. You know what. This is not working. (I start considering hanging up at this point because I think I'm going to hurt someone)
Him: We need a date.
Me (very exasperated): I've told you a date. I've been trying to tell you the date at least 3 times.
Him: Fine. What's the date.
Me: December 22nd. I assume.
Him: How much are you paying back?
Me: .. the amount that's due?
Him: You're not answering the question.
Me: .. I don't understand what you're trying to ask me.
Him: When are you paying the money back?

That went on for a few more parts until he finally got it through his head that I would be putting the payment in today, through internet banking and it will take a few days. Like holy crap, wtf was that. What part of - yes, I will pay it back but I don't know when internet banking will go through - is hard to understand? How does that translate to - screw you people, I'm never paying it back! MUHAHAHAH!

In a way, I can understand the approach being used. Maybe they normally deal with people who don't want to pay it back. But I -never- ever said that. What part of I can't control internet banking is difficult to understand? I just felt like the whole time he wasn't listening to what I was saying about the payment situation. It was all - you're not answering the question. Then the whole accusing me of being offensive and yelling - what the bloody hell. Yelling, I can somewhat understand, even though I wasn't yelling but okay whatever - that's all perspectives. Offensive though? WHAT AM I SAYING THAT'S SO OFFENSIVE? It bothers me that he never told me what it was he has an issue with, because I didn't even start swearing.

--

Needless to say, that was a pretty crappy situation. It doesn't end there though.

After visiting one of my families, I decided that today would not be a good day to spend in the office - so I took all my work home. I got a call from the same bank again - this time asking what kind of services they can provide and whatever, trying to give me a mortgage. I told them that at this time, I'm not considering that - but I would be interested in extending my credit limit because I'm having so many issues with it. So the bank representative connects me with someone else, who tells me literally: Sorry, your credit rating isn't good enough for us to give you a $1000 increase (it's at $1000 right now), call us back in 6 months.

Okay. So let me get this straight. My credit rating isn't good enough for you to give me an extra $1000 on my credit card, but you're willing to give me 370k for a house. Oh, okay. So my credit rating is fine for anything over 370k, just not 1k.

Wow, that makes so much sense.

At this stage, I'm considering never using that credit card again because they're turning out to be such bastards about the whole situation. And file a complaint too. If they hate my business so much, I can take it elsewhere. I think at this stage I'll just stick with an equally reputable bank that gives me a 10k credit limit and doesn't treat me like a criminal every time on the phone.

Had a very down-time filled weekend - I pretty much spent the whole weekend doing almost nothing but eating and dozing. I guess I was more stressed out than I thought I was.

Documentation for work is going to kill me though. I spent about 5 hours writing on Saturday - it reminded me of high school. Typing is a lot faster for me, but the notes had to be hand written. Aghh. Haven't felt that kind of wrist pain in a long time. Can't say I miss it. :P

I guess this is why there's speculation that penmanship will die, since computers are everywhere now. I guess that's pretty sad. :( .. though to be honest, it's not like I have great penmanship myself since I never really liked cursive writing.

Someone told me that I write like a left-hander even though I'm right handed. I wonder what that means. I guess maybe I write my letters differently? That might be due to the fact that my writing is a combination of printing and cursive.. but I heard that a lot of people tend to do that once they reach adulthood.


(Had this to eat today - it's an instant noodle bowl that I bought in Japan at the Nissin Instant Noodle museum. It's supposedly Wakayama influenced.. hmm.)

( More! )

Another fun filled week up ahead - going to be working late all week. Hope it goes okay. :/

So glad this week is over. Been like the week from .. some bizarro stress awful-ville.

It started out okay. Had a lot of work to do, but I usually do. Wednesday onwards, it was a nightmare. Just bad. And everytime I thought it was done being bad, it would get worse. What gives?

I'll talk in vague terms because of work, but generally speaking:

Wednesday: Had to deal with a very argumentative professional who repeteadly told me that they were 'very expensive' and that I was wasting their time because we weren't making a decision at that EXACT MOMENT. Too bad I didn't actually invite them, they invited themselves. Like I care you're damn expensive, your client hired you. Not me.

Thursday: Sat in front of a gate for 3.5, almost 4 hours trying to convince someone to come home and talk to me. I finished work at 9:30pm. Awesome.

Friday: Had same person from Thursday state that I was causing them mental anguish/hurting their feelings because someone else had kept calling them the day before. They thought it was me, even though I told them it wasn't. Required to maintain professional demeanor while said person took my reputation and smeared it across the floor. No rebuttal made during process because I recognize that 'he said, she said' is pretty pointless and doesn't get us anywhere. Wasn't able to get any other work done, but I still didn't end up finishing work till 8:30pm. Awesome.

Honestly. So tired of this week. So tired of this wtfness.

I guess the Social Work Gods' hate me this week. Hopefully it doesn't extend into the weekend, because this is just stupid.

--

Though it's not my Thanksgiving week(end), I have to say I'm just thankful I have people to talk to about the crap that goes on at work. It's really helpful to know that your colleagues are supportive and understanding, and that there's a realistic reason why I feel so frustrated. In my last job, I never really had a chance to talk to someone about the stuff I had to deal with, so it was a lot harder - not only do I need to deal with the attitude from my clients, I need to deal with the attitude from my colleagues. It's just difficult when you feel like you can't talk about anything with anyone - especially due to confidentiality issues.

It's also really insulting that people think I literally wake up in the morning and decide - okay, let me see. Which parent should I terrorize today? I need to take a child, who's a good target?! I'm in a crap mood, let me make a parent miserable! :DDDDD

Like really? I know child welfare has a bad reputation, and I understand that, I really do. But I don't wake up in the morning and think about how I'm going to screw you over. My purpose in life is not to terrorize you and make you hate me. Really. Like honestly, what purpose would that serve? Oh great, you hate me. And then what? The issues are still there, they're not being resolved. I prefer collaboration over having to call police in to make you work with me. Don't you? We both have lives that we want to get back to, we all want to eat dinner on time. Why does this have to be so difficult sometimes? I can only repeat the same statement (No, I am not here to take your child) so many times before it really gets pointless.

I worry about who I'll talk to about stuff once I move to a new office. :/

Oh well. Take things as they come, I suppose.

(A building in Kyoto's National Garden. Nice splash of colour since the day was all gloomy and such)


(Pretty! - taking this was a nightmare though. We went on a tour with like 200 other people and ONE guide - this meant you couldn't hear half the time and everyone kept getting into other people's pictures. Loren claims it was a big highlight for him because I spent the whole time angrily swearing under my breath because people kept ruining my shots)

Uber tired at work today - I guess partly because I slept late, but I also didn't sleep very well. Spent most of the afternoon staring pointlessly at a spot on my cubicle. Pretty sad. :/

Note to self: When starving from not eating enough breakfast, don't eat lunch so fast you feel sick after. Bad idea.

Work is work - mostly depressing, the environment still sucks because you have no idea if more people will be laid off. I got a bunch of new families though, which makes it interesting - I just don't really know what to do, since I have no idea if I'll even have a job in a month. How do I conduct a transfer meeting with a family when I might only be their worker for like.. a couple days? It makes any sort of planning and thinking ahead rather hard - but I guess that's pretty selfish of me. I'm trying, but I'm just human, you know? :P

So much to worry about, even though I know worrying doesn't help. Aiyes. Hopefully it'll be a better day tomorrow. :/

(Colours for the house - kitchen, bathrooms, foyer, etc.. + matching counter-tops. Blergh. -> I actually took this on my camera phone.. not bad, huh?)

The theme lately seems to be colours.

On Monday we went to the decor centre for our new house to talk about wiring and whatever. They said the appointment would take about an hour.. it really took like 10 minutes. Since it went so quickly, the person helping us said we could probably pick out colours for home. Totally random, since I hadn't been expecting that - but it was good that we could get it all done in one visit instead of having to go back. We ended up picking colours for the floor tiles/wall tiles/counters/cabinets and upgrades. It was more painful than I thought it would be. I'm not very good at that kind of thing. :/ - if you ask me, everything in the house will be neutral.. which can be rather boring. I'm kind of worried how the house will end up looking with my myriad collection of whites, beiges and light browns. :/

Also spent the weekend trying to pick wedding colours. We went to a hardware store and raided their paint sample department, because that seems like the best way to figure out exactly what it is you want, visually. It worked okay, I think - I now officially consider paint samples the best thing ever. I think we've mostly decided on colours. Kinda. A rich orange with a pale green and ivory. I might change my mind if the bridesmaid dresses end up being too difficult or uber tacky. We'll see. >.>

Have also been trying to find something to wear for holiday parties that I have to go to - it's proving to be way more difficult than I thought it would be. Most stores still seem to be transitioning from fall to winter, so they're trying to sell off all the fall clothes. Not much there for the holiday season.. which is bad. Have a semi-formal thing to attend on the weekend.. and I don't really own semi-formal clothes. I have normal, casual clothes .. then I have really formal clothes that I wear to court for work. I hope something comes out this week or else I'm really screwed. :/

Have also had 2 friends I haven't talked to in a while send me messages lately. It's kind of odd, but nice to catch up. Will have to see how that all pans out.

Gahhhh, so don't wanna work in the morning. :(

(Bet you haven't seen this in North America - new thing at McDonald's in HK .. chocolate pie. Apparantly it's great if you're a chocolate lover.)


(.. and what the pie actually looks like out of the box)

Since the official message that there will be layoffs, work has been bad the past few days. Just eerie silence, everyone waiting to see if they'll get notified.

They had mentioned last week that they would phone Supervisors on Monday to let them know if someone in their department will be let go. I had case meetings with my Supervisor scheduled yesterday, so we literally spent the whole time freaking out every time the phone rang. Of course, no one from head office actually called in the end.

Today, I went to meet a family in the morning and got back to the office shortly before 1. I didn't get any calls, so I figured that: 1) they didn't fire me and 2) they should be done with firing people by now. Instead, I find out that no, they were not done firing people and they were dragging the process out. Walking people to a room in front of all the staff.. so you knew exactly who was getting fired and what they looked like after the meeting. What gives. Like come on. It's a bad enough process already, do these people really need to be paraded in front of everyone else who still luckily has a job? And what are the rest of us supposed to say? That sucks? I'm sorry? Like .. what are you supposed to do?

I swear, the whole process has been so stretched out, it's aggravating. Honestly, the past few days have been mental torture in the office. No one can get anything done, the tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife, everyone is freaking out, panicking, scared. Like really, is this supposed to be a good work environment? The whole situation is like trying to remove a band-aid. Just RIP IT OFF aka JUST TELL US. After you tell people, the first few minutes will be bad, but at least you'd know. Dragging it out, having everyone freak out every time their phone rings is not helpful or even good in any way. And it's not like they didn't know who they'd fire. They did. So why drag it out for so damn long?

My team-member dragged me out to lunch after I got back because the environment was so bad, and our Supervisor had just been taken to "the room". We get back and find out that our Administrative Assistant got fired, along with our Supervisor.. and no one could understand why. When my Supervisor's boss told my team (.. or the people in my team who were actually around, since everyone else called in sick or left - don't blame them), we just stared at him. Like really, what's the criteria for firing her? Compared to the multitude of .. not that great Supervisors who are still around.. why her in particular?

So we have no answers, and I have to go to a big staff meeting tomorrow so they can "explain" why they did what they did. Supposedly. I wonder if they'll actually explain anything.

It's just such a crappy day. One would think it could have been done differently - instead of parading the people who got fired in front of everyone. :/

At this stage, it looks like they fired a lot of administrative staff and a couple supervisors. I guess we'll find out the damage tomorrow. Awesome.

---

Wedding update:

Looking at invitations now and trying to decide on a colour scheme. It's hard. So much harder than I thought it would be - Loren ended up picking the colours for the invitations because I just had no idea what to go with.

I guess the invitation doesn't necessarily have to match the venue colour scheme/flowers/whatever. I don't know. Thinking about this is just.. hard when I have work on my mind. I think I need to go to a hardware store and look at paint swatches to get a better idea. :/

(While in HK, we took the ferry over to Cheung Chau (about an hour), which is a little island that is home to the only olympic medal winner from HK - she won a gold for windsurfing in 1996)

Our provincial government is projected to have a massive deficit - so finally yesterday, the agency announced that they'll be doing lay-offs.

So far, it's only 18 people - half from the union, half not. Supposedly, it's mostly made up of people who are not in core services (ie: workers who don't go out and meet with clients), but pretty much anything can happen. Needless to say, people are panicking - the firing from the union side is going to be based upon senority, not how good you are at your job. Lots of people have only worked at the agency for a year or so.. which makes it hard to say who's really on the chopping block.

They've said that they're not going to fire contract staff (myself) but if they fire a Supervisor, and the Supervisor decides to go for a demotion and go back to frontline, then they will have to fire contract staff to make way for them. Problem for the Supervisor is if they choose to do that, they will begin with no senority, making them ranked lower than people they had been previously supervising.. which also means if the agency decides to do ANOTHER round of lay-offs, they'd be cut first.

The environment is absolutely toxic at the agency today. No one's really there - most are sick or working from home. Of course people are scared about what will happen, which makes doing any work absolutely impossible. People are supposed to be informed by Tuesday, so things are supposed to continue as normal. But really, unless you're doing visits or something, it's really hard to focus on paperwork if you think you're going to get fired. I'm way overtime for the week, so I just took the afternoon off to stay home.

I swear, maybe I should go into a different line of work. If I get laid-off, that's like the 2nd time in a year I've gotten fired for the exact same reason. And it's not like there's a plentiful outpouring of jobs waiting for me. I'm already working for the best employer within the field - it's basically a government job, is in an area that is always funded (child welfare) and pretty much NEVER fires people since people quit from stress instead. Yet again, here we are.

I. AM. SO. SICK. AND. TIRED. OF. THIS. BULLSHIT.

So yeah. Stressssssssssssssssssssss, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

(I took this from the plane so excuse slight fuzziness - we were flying over the mountainous areas of mainland China and we passed by this lake which had lots and lots of roads leading to it)

Uber tired. Basically worked from 9:30am-9pm today, which was an interesting experience. Back-roads driving with high beams is preeeeeeetty neat. Also, trying to stay focused when a kid rambles to you about how much they love Hannah Montana is great fun. Or which Jonas brother they think is really good looking. Wheeeeeeee, awesome.

Otherwise, work is going well. Lots to do, don't have enough time to get it all done when I have to juggle training with it. People have progressed from freaking out about their jobs to H1N1. Wewt.

I can see why it's easy to fall behind with paperwork though - I'm juggling 9 families and it can get pretty intense. I don't even want to imagine juggling another 10 more.

---- Wedding rambling to follow ----

Wedding planning is moving along, since I realize now that time is dwindling and I reallllllllllllly need to get started on everything. We managed to book a photographer over the weekend, which was nice. We had narrowed it down to two choices - I had my first choice, which I decided on since I had a chance to talk to the photographers at some wedding shows I'd been and I really loved their style.. but they were slightly out of our price range. We looked up option two because they were cheaper and also had an interesting style to their pictures. In essence, both of them did more than just blur the edges to make things more "artsy" - you laugh, but you have no idea HOW MANY people advertise wedding photography and seriously, their whole portfolio is just blurry wedding shots. Wow, so artistic.

Anyhow - arranging to meet option two was much more difficult than it should have been. I emailed them at this time last week, and also called them on Wednesday. I was told that since we're getting married on (Canadian) Thanksgiving weekend, they'll have to see if they're working and they'll get back to me in a day or so. Well, it's been a week or so. Does that mean no? When I initially asked several weeks back (before we left on the trip), they had said that date was fine. So.. what's going on?

We ended up meeting with option one just because we had scheduled to, and it ended up going really well. The photographer actually planned my whole day's timeline for me (!!!) because.. well, I hadn't done anything. So he suggested what would be a good time to start, where to go, etc. It was nice - I actually felt like I was getting somewhere. After all the calculations including what we wanted and what not, the end price was pretty good - much better than what we had anticipated.. slightly more expensive, but still within budget for the most part (we kind of got a discount). We talked about it a bit after the meeting and decided just to go with the place - they had what we wanted originally, the price was decent and option two was still slacking. I hope it all goes well though. O.o - we're supposedly doing an engagement shoot too in the summer sometime.. need to start scouting locations. :P

We also have scheduled to meet with invitation people this weekend to start considering invites and what not. It also means I need to develop a colour scheme .. since I don't even have an inkling of one at the moment. Picking colours is more complicating than I thought it would be. I don't want it to be like uber rustic, pumpkin patch wedding. I also don't want to use colours that are completely not even in season. I'm thinking a pale-ish green + bold orange + soft beige. Or some combination of that .. since I like how green looks, I think orange would be a nice compliment.. and beige/ivory is basically the colour scheme of our reception hall so might as well use it. I can't really find anything visually to demonstrate what I mean though - hopefully the invitation person will help. :/

So.. I still need to:
- book DJ (we have one in mind based on recommendations.. just need to talk to the guy)
- flowers (have another recommendation.. but no colour scheme = no flowers)
- cupcakes (picked one, just need to order .. again, no colour scheme = no decision)
- attire (no idea where to even begin.. but I think the guys have a scheduled appointment at some tux place)
- photo-booth

.. and we still need to decide on the wedding party. Weep. -.-

I swear, if you're like me and most of your friends are male.. and you don't really have that many female friends (read: 3) you're sooooooooooooo screwed.

I mean, I do have female friends.. but I don't want the wedding party to be a free-for-all. I'd at least like to pick people I can talk to for more than 20 minutes. It makes it worse when people you want to include are overseas. AGKASGJ. -.-

(took this on the way to Osaka from HK - I like how everything looks like it's in minature. :D)

Woot, turning 26 on Oct 26th. Must be a sign! :) .. of what, I have no idea but hey. Big things happening in the next year, so I guess that must be it.

I think I'm finally getting over jetlag. Mostly. I still get random bursts of tiredness, but yeah. I'm just really trying to stay awake a bit later because going to bed at 10 means I wake up at 5 or so. I don't have to wake up till 8.. so yeah. Sleep later!

I took the day off work and did nothing for the most part. Felt nice, especially since work is starting to pick up pace and it's like OMG OMG OMG so much to do. It doesn't help that our province is going through a budget deficit, so they've cut funding to child welfare. Right now, they're going through reviews because if you cut funding to child welfare, you're really just screwing over kids who are already in (mostly) cruddy environments. Of course, this raises the possibility of layoffs, which results in everyone going crazy about the possibility of getting fired. It's like - really, I don't know why you permanent full-time people are crying.

Okay, that's a lie. I know why people are panicking. Mortgages, car payments, yadda yadda. But really, it's not something you can control, and not something that'll make you feel better the more you think and panic about it. I'm on a contract, so I'd be cut first and there's really nothing I can do about that. Whatever happens, happens. What can you really do? Deal with the cards as they are dealt, you know?

Or maybe that's just my way of coping. Who knows.

In other news, I should probably write some blurbs about vacation. Work in progress .. I only just got caught up with all the tv shows I missed. XD I'll get to it eventually. Or maybe I'll just use most of the pictures for everyday posts. :)

(Yes, I know. Crappy pic, but I'm kind of in a rush. XD - Isn't my green suitcase so purty? :P)

Alright - time to leave!

I'm slightly tired.. I think I slept for like 3 hours. -.-

Not really looking forward to the Hong Kong weather (30ish degrees celsius, 79% humidity - .. kill me now)

Anyhow. See you guys in 18 days! (or sooner, internet access depending)

Finally finally done packing. Well, mostly. I still have some stuff left to stuff into the suitcase, but I'll have to wait until I'm done brushing my teeth and such tomorrow. Vacation still seems surreal though, almost can't believe it's happening.

Work was a killer today - getting everything in order, making sure I connected with all my contacts. So glad that's done with, but I think I'll miss the work - it's stressful, but I like it. You just get used to the motions, it's weird once it stops.

I wonder how much I should sleep, I need to be up in like 5ish hours. FUN!

Will try to post a picture before I leave. :)